#173: It’s Not Too Late To Become A Lawyer (Or Make A Big Life Change)

[00:01:01] Well, hello hello, everybody. This is Heather Moulder, your host of the Life & Law Podcast, and today we are going to answer a listener’s question. So just note that anybody who signs up for my newsletter gets the opportunity to tell me what they think, tell me what they want to hear more about on this podcast, in my newsletter, and so on and so forth.

I got this question a couple of months back from somebody who signed up for my newsletter and listens to the podcast. So I hope you’re out there listening now. This is for you. I don’t know your name, but I hope this answers the question that you asked.

When Is It Too Late To Become A Lawyer (Or Make A Big Life Change)?

So, the specific question that was asked me was, when is it too late? Or is it too late? And how do you go about, from a mental perspective, changing careers or making a big transition within your career later in life?

So today, I want to come at it from a couple of angles and just note that this can come up in a lot of instances. So I think this person was specifically asking about, hey, I have a career now. I’ve always thought of going to law school, but I feel like it’s too late. Like I’m too old for this. Is it too late? And if not, when does it become too late?

Well, the answer to your very specific question is, no, it’s not too late. And I don’t personally think it’s ever too late to change your practice area, to go in house, to go from in house or a government job to private practice, or to decide you want to go to law school and become a lawyer. Full stop. Never too late.

But you knew there was going to be a but, right? And this is a big one, so please listen.

It doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy or that you’re not going to get some friction while doing it, because you cannot control other people’s thoughts or behavior.

So where this fear and this thought is really coming from relates to what other people are going to think and how other people will treat you and the decisions they’re going to make that may impact you. Because the truth is:

• Some people are going to overlook you.
• Some will believe it’s too late, and as a result, they may not be very helpful. They might even do things that feel like a hindrance to you.

But that doesn’t mean it’s too late for you, because ultimately, this is your choice. You get to decide if you do the thing, make the change, go to law school, pivot in your career. You get to choose. And I will tell you, I’ve had clients that are second career attorneys.

I’ve had clients that have pivoted into new practice areas.

I have done that myself. Now, typically, I did it as a result of being forced.

So the first time I pivoted into a new practice area is because I changed law firms and I needed to, to be in that new firm. That was still relatively early in my career.

But later in my career, right after I made partner, I was pretty much forced into it because of the financial crisis. I had to. I didn’t pivot in a huge way in the sense that I went from finance to tax or financing to litigation. But I did have to pivot into a completely new area and start from scratch without knowing anybody in that area. And there were new things for me to learn. So I do kind of get where you’re coming from.

It’s hard, it’s not fun, because you feel like you’re starting from scratch.

And sometimes other people will think, wait, you need to stay in your lane. Right?

And it is worse, the bigger of a change.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t.

Because whether or not you can or can’t is 100% up to you. So given what we’re talking about, given that not everybody will be on board, not everybody will seek to help you, some people are going to question you, some might even hinder you in some ways. And those, some will be people that could employ you. They might be people who are close to you. They might be people you know well.

How might you go about this?

That’s what I really want to get into today, because this is what I want you to know. So that you can make the right choice for you and decide, okay, do I really want this or not? Whatever this big change is for you, knowing the work ahead, knowing how to approach it, and then it helps to give you a guideline for making that change a little bit more seamless.

I wouldn’t say completely seamless, but helping you along, helping you to have the right mentality, helping you to take the actual right actions when you do something like this. And by the way, for anybody out there listening to this who’s kind of had something in the back of your mind on a big change, and maybe it’s not as big of a change as starting off at law school in your thirties or forties or later, right? Or going from in house as a career, in house or government attorney into private practice. Maybe it’s some other pivot or change within your life.

Hopefully this will help you out, too. I think that this blueprint we’re going to go through will help you with any big change within your life, no matter what it is. Okay, so getting off the soapbox now, I think about this whole can you change? Yes, you can.

Let’s talk about how to make the change and how to do it in a way that’s really going to support you to be the most successful with this change.

#1: Manage Your Mind

So, number one, and anybody who has listened to my podcast for any time at all is not going to be surprised about this: It’s all about supporting your mind. The mindset you bring to the table, your mentality.

Because your mindset is what helps to support you to do the things you need to do, to take that first step, to keep going, to get back up after you feel like you’ve made a fool out of yourself because you’ve made a big change and you didn’t know enough about what you were doing. And maybe you looked like a fool a little bit, but “oh, well”, you’ve learned from it. You need to keep going.

Mindset is key here for a whole host of reasons. This is you supporting yourself through proper tools and activities. So what does that mean? How do you support yourself through proper mindset tools and activities?

Well, first, know that this is really about thought work.

Mindset tools. Some of them are out there to help combat stress. Some are out there that are a little more overt around thought work. Some are there more to help you be more present with yourself.

They’re all there to help you become more self aware around your behavioral patterns. And that includes your thought patterns, right?

Because ultimately, it’s the thoughts that you have about yourself, about what you’re capable of, about other people and what they may do or not do to help or hinder you that could get in your way. Because they stop us from ever trying. They stop us from going all in. They stop us or slow us down.

And the thing to know here is that inner voice that you have that’s telling you all these things that sound like truth isn’t really true. You can do things to work to challenge those thoughts. That’s what thought work is.

I’m talking about journaling. I’m talking about self awareness and mindfulness tools. I’m talking about challenging the thoughts that you have and stepping back. I’m talking about self affirmations done right. And I’ve covered that before because self affirmations, the way that a lot of people like on Instagram and TikTok and all these other places like to talk about them, are typically not science backed ways to use self affirmations.

Because when you go to this perfect existence that you want to be, and you affirm that, your mind is going to say, whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re nowhere near that. That’s not how it is, and you’re going to counteract it, and it’s actually going to be detrimental to you.

When we talk about self affirmations, there is a way to utilize them where you take baby steps. You figure out, what’s that first spot, and how do I affirm to that and change my thinking around that. And then once you get there, you move on and you ladder up.

That’s called a thought ladder. And I’ve covered this before in the podcast, ooh, a long time ago. So I will put a link to that episode in the show notes. I will also put some links to some other thought work and mindset episodes where we get a little more in depth into the types of things you can do to journal to challenge your thoughts.

And most importantly, I’m going to put something else in there. I want you to get the legal mindset mastery toolkit that is available to you for free. It will also get you on my newsletter, FYI, which you should be on if you’re not on already.

And what that is – there are ten tools to help you feel more grounded, be more present, keep stress at bay, and then also to work on your thoughts. It’s kind of a lot of different tools. They’re not all thought tools. Some are specifically thought tools, like reframing. Some are more stress management oriented. But it is a great place for getting started with this type of work.

And when I say this type of work, thought work is about a couple of things.

• Number one, more self awareness. You’ve got to be self aware to change.
• Number two, challenging your thoughts.
• Number three, changing how you think for the long term.

And this toolkit will help you with all three of those things. Plus some other things for helping with stress management. Okay, so here’s a quick tip to help you.

I want you to get started by acknowledging that not everybody is going to support you, and that’s okay.

This is your life. You are making the choice. This choice is for you. You get to decide what, how long it takes, where you go, when you pivot, and so on and so forth. It’s your life, not theirs.

So not everybody’s going to be okay with it. Not everybody’s going to agree with it. Not everybody’s going to support you. And that’s okay. Instead of obsessing about the ones who aren’t okay, don’t agree and don’t support…

Seek out and surround yourself with those who will.

Another tip: remind yourself of everything you’ve done and how much further along you are in life experience than those who get started younger in life.

Something that I have learned in spades along the way is as we become more experienced in life and our initial professions, whatever they are, those experiences, that knowledge, that education to date, helps us move forward, even in new things that we’ve never done. Because we have more experience, we have more to bring to that situation.

Also, we think a little bit more outside the box than those who have been doing it for a long time. And there is a lot of value in that.

So remind yourself of that whenever you find yourself thinking, oh, my God, maybe this is too late. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe look at all these other people ahead of me who are younger. Who cares? You bring something else to the table, you bring something different to the table. There’s value in that, and that will help you get to where you ultimately want to be on this new journey.

The other point is you’re likely to learn more quickly as a result of that.

So, for example, I had a client who had run a family business for many, many, many years, a restaurant, actually, that was very popular. Did very well. And she had always wanted to go to law school. And during the pandemic, she made the decision, you know what? Life’s too short. I’m ready. She has teenagers.

She decided, I’m going to law school. She went to law school. She worked hard. She is now out working. What I am seeing in her is that she is way ahead of the game when it comes to client development. When it comes to business development. The firms that she was talking to when she was originally interviewing and then the firm she is now with see this and are already learning how to leverage her connections from her past existence and life into new business.

Now, she’s still a baby lawyer when it comes to lawyering, but she’s way ahead of the game on other aspects. And she brings something to the table that others don’t have. She also brings an incredible network of people and a lifetime of honing in on those quote unquote soft skills we all keep talking about, which is helping her lead better. It’s helping her manage others – support staff – better. It’s making a name of herself in lots of new ways that she never saw as a benefit until she started to experience it.

And I will just say something here, it will not surprise me if she makes partner earlier than the average person because she’s also able to learn a lot more quickly just based on this past experience that has nothing to do with lawyering, by the way.

#2: Create a Robust Support Network

Okay, number two, and I’ve highlighted this a little bit in some of my tips, but we’re going to go a little more in depth. You want to support yourself through an actual network of people, and it’s twofold.

Your personal support network.

That’s the people you trust who actually get you, have known you, friends, family, that type of thing, mentors who you’re really close to, and then also through your new professional network. So what does this mean?

Well, personally, make sure you put together a group of people who do support this change, who are there for you no matter what, who will listen to you when you struggle, who will support you, who will build you back up and remind you of all the great things that you have done and what you’re really capable of. You need that.

And even though there will be people out there who will question, who will surprise you, who won’t support, who will surprise you, there will be people who will do that.

Be very intentional about who is in that support network, and be sure you reach out to them regularly.

I would even recommend structurally supporting yourself in the sense of going to them, telling them they’re part of your support network, getting them to agree to reach out to you periodically, to just check in and see how you’re doing. Because sometimes it’s hard to reach out when you’re struggling.

Create that structural support for yourself when you’re making a big change.

The second part of this is the professional side.

When you are pivoting into a new area, a new practice area, when you’re going into a law firm from in-house, when you are going into law school, and then the practice after having done something completely different, first you’re going to want to think very carefully and be very intentional about your new professional network.

Utilize your current connections and contacts to your benefit in your new position and role. Do not be afraid to ask people for introductions now, as somebody with more experience having done something else, you likely have a deeper bench to pull from than you even realize.

This is going to help you a lot more than you realize. People are going to be a lot more likely to want to help you. Utilize that professional network that you already have, network within it, and expand from there.

And start early. Do not wait until you feel like, I need more experience, I need to work at least a couple of years. I need to do this for at least a year or two or three. No, start from the beginning.

It does not mean you have to ask for work in that new area before you feel comfortable. What it does mean is you’re building with a strategic kind of goal in mind for the long term from the very beginning. It will pay off in spades later on down the road and probably more quickly than you would imagine.

#3: Don’t Limit Yourself By Doing The Normal Thing (Consider Alternative Paths)

All right, finally, third point. Consider alternative paths and entrepreneurial opportunities.

So if you are just going into law school later in life, maybe you’re not a fit for big law. Maybe you’re not even a fit for many midsize law firms.

Find your fit, the fit where you will be valued, where you’ll be trained, where somebody will invest in you. There are places, but they may not be the most profitable in the short term.

Do not knock their long term potential and profitability.

This goes also for if you are pivoting into a new practice area, if you are going into private practice from primarily a government or in house position, think through what the right fit is for you based on your values, based on your strengths, based on your experience, and based on the culture of the places that you are looking to. And do not knock the non traditional places.

There are a lot of places out there where you can do incredibly well. Do not overlook them.

Oftentimes, it’s those non traditional places that are more willing to give you a chance, are more willing to support you, and will really help you to grow over the long term.

To Recap What We Learned Today

Okay, so to recap very quickly, it is never too late. However, be advised that not everybody’s going to support you. Not everybody’s going to be on board. And that’s okay.

You can support yourself through mindset.

You can also support yourself through having a really good structural support network. Both of the people you really trust, who have known you the best and who will be your go to’s when you need to be picked up, when you need to be supported, when you just need to vent. And then also by being very intentional in creating your structural external networking support system.

And the third thing is, think outside the box. Don’t just look at the traditional paths. Also consider non traditional ways and paths for your future.

You have a lot to offer. Be sure you give yourself that chance to offer it all.

That is it for today. I hope that whomever is out there that asked that question is listening today and that I answered it fully. We will be back next week. Bye for now.